Tag: Conan

I prefer to keep my barbarians fictional, thank you. But with the nation’s 250th birthday approaching, I expect there will be plenty of instances in which truth will exceed credibility. It’s the world we live in, folks. Robert E. Howard, take me away!

This week on “Picture Perfect,” it’s an hour of music from movies inspired by Howard’s imaginative writings. Howard is best recognized for having created Conan the Cimmerian, a heroic warrior of the Hyborian Age. The character became the center of a series of lucrative stories first published in “Weird Tales” magazine, beginning in 1932.

It would be a half century before Conan made the leap to the big screen, under the direction of John Milius. “Conan the Barbarian” (1982) propelled Arnold Schwarzenegger, already a legend in the field of bodybuilding, to international superstardom. Okay, “Conan” isn’t exactly “Citizen Kane,” but it does have its pleasures. The intensity of the violence can be a little disturbing, but the ponderous tone is a blast. “Conan” is a film that takes itself just seriously enough to make it occasionally hilarious.

Another thing “Conan” has going for it is the fact that it was made on a blockbuster budget. The first-rate production values extend to the music by Basil Poledouris, who employs a full symphony orchestra to impressive ends. In fact, the “Conan” score was one of the strongest of the decade. It’s amazing that anyone would find so much inspiration in such a mediocre film, but Poledouris’ music intersperses Borodin-style Central Asia lyricism with brawny, thrilling action music.

Sadly, the sequel, “Conan the Destroyer,” betrays signs of penny-pinching, so that it often winds up feeling like a direct-to-video effort. Poledouris was forced to make do with a smaller orchestra, which sounds a bit too much like a television ensemble. Still, he gave it his all, and there’s something to be said for the fact that it is an original score, rather than a mere retread of the original.

Of perhaps related interest: it looks like a long-anticipated third Schwarzenegger Conan movie will finally be happening. “King Conan” is expected to begin filming next year, with Christopher McQuarrie writing and directing!

Let’s hope it fares better than an adaptation inspired by another one of Howard’s pulp creations, Kull of Atlantis, who was given the big screen treatment in “Kull the Conqueror” (1997). Kevin Sorbo, TV’s Hercules, plays the title role. The composer, Joel Goldsmith (son of Jerry), was asked to incorporate heavy metal riffs into his orchestral underscore. I haven’t actually seen this one, but for some reason I don’t feel like I’m missing anything.

The astoundingly prolific Ennio Morricone – with more than 500 motion picture and television scores to his name – had an uncanny knack for spinning garbage into gold. His music for “Red Sonja” (1985) lends the film an aura of ‘80s cheese ball fun, perhaps more so than it deserves. This is the film that introduced Brigitte Nielsen as the chain-mailed barbarian beauty. Schwarzenegger appears in the supporting role of Lord Kalidor.

There are those who would deny themselves the guilty pleasures of viewing these silly, cheesy, violent films. In “Conan the Destroyer,” when our hero is presented with the statement, “I suppose nothing hurts you,” he responds, “… Only pain.”

Make the music loud, Crom! Drive my enemies before me and drown the lamentations of their women! Saddle up with Conan the Barbarian on “Picture Perfect” – music for movies inspired by the writings of Robert E. Howard – now in syndication on KWAX Classical Oregon!

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Clip and save the start times for all three of my recorded shows:

PICTURE PERFECT, the movie music show – Friday at 8:00 PM EDT/5:00 PM PDT

SWEETNESS AND LIGHT, the light music program – Saturday at 11:00 AM EDT/8:00 AM PDT

THE LOST CHORD, unusual and neglected rep – Saturday at 7:00 PM EDT/4:00 PM PDT

Stream them, wherever you are, at the link!

https://kwax.uoregon.edu