What is going on with the holidays this year, and how is it already time to welcome Krampus? 20 days until Christmas, and I’m just not feeling it yet.
Since starting this page in 2014, I’ve broken quite a few lances against the Coca-Cola commercialism of American Christmas. One of the most devastating of my weapons has always been Krampus, the Christmas demon, who descends from his Alpine domain on December 5 to accompany St. Nicholas on his rounds. (Tomorrow is St. Nicholas Day.) Krampus, menacingly-horned and egregiously-tongued, is festooned with bells and bears a switch. And for the naughty children of Central Europe, he means business.
According to tradition, Nicholas rewards the good, while the naughty are turned over to Krampus. For mild offenses, there are lashings with the switch; for the irredeemable, there is an infernal ride in Krampus’ basket, followed by drowning in a stream or immolation in hellfire. This is a holiday I can get behind.
Alas, we are living in a world where we’ve become increasingly inured to such things. Krampus, formerly the province of subversive greeting cards, has been appropriated for mainstream movies and television, for crying out loud. When murderous Santa movies form their own subgenre, and the real world is more horrifying than any fairy story that can be cooked up for children, a visitation from a Christmas demon has come to seem… rather quaint.
And those who deserve the beatings never seem to get them. What’s going on with America’s classical music stations? One thousand years of Christmas music – motets, oratorios, operas, symphonies, symphonic poems, ballets, and incidental music – and all we ever get is the same old hourly brass arrangements of “Deck the Halls.” Krampus, work your magic!
