In “Conan the Destroyer” (1984), one of Conan’s companions speculates, “I suppose nothing hurts you.”
To which he replies, “Only pain.”
Discriminating viewers may feel a little pain themselves watching these silly, cheesy and violent films, all of which were inspired by the writings of pulp master Robert E. Howard. Howard created the warrior Conan in 1932. The character became the center of a series of lucrative stories first published in “Weird Tales” magazine.
In 1982, Conan made the leap to the big screen, under the guidance of director John Milius. The film, “Conan the Barbarian,” made Arnold Schwarzenegger, already a legend in the field of bodybuilding, an international superstar. While “Conan” isn’t exactly “Citizen Kane,” it does have its pleasures. The intensity of the violence can be a little disturbing, but the ponderous tone is a blast. “Conan” is a film that takes itself just seriously enough to make it occasionally hilarious.
Another thing “Conan” had going for it was the fact that it was made on a blockbuster budget. The first-rate production values extended to the music by Basil Poledouris, who employed a full symphony orchestra to impressive ends. In fact, the “Conan” score is one of the strongest of the decade. It’s amazing that anyone would find so much inspiration in such a mediocre film, but Poledouris’ music intersperses Central Asia-style lyricism with brawny, thrilling action music.
Sadly, the sequel, “Conan the Destroyer,” showed all-too-evident signs of penny-pinching, so that it often wound up feeling like a direct-to-video production. Poledouris was forced to make do with a smaller orchestra, which at times sounds like a television ensemble. Still, he gave it his all, and there’s something to be said for the fact that it is an original score, rather than a mere retread of the original.
In 1997, Howard’s Kull of Atlantis was given the big screen treatment as “Kull the Conqueror.” Kevin Sorbo, TV’s Hercules, played the title role. The composer, Joel Goldsmith (son of Jerry Goldsmith), was asked to incorporate heavy metal riffs into his orchestral underscore. I haven’t actually seen this one, but for some reason I don’t feel like I’m missing anything.
The astoundingly prolific Ennio Morricone – who has more than 500 motion picture and television scores to his name – has an uncanny knack for spinning garbage into gold. His music for “Red Sonja” (1985) lends the film an aura of ‘80s fun, perhaps more so than it deserves. This is the film that introduced Brigette Nielsen as the chain-mailed barbarian beauty. Schwarzenegger appears in the supporting role of Lord Kalidor.
In the ‘80s, even bad films had great scores. I hope you’ll give “Conan the Barbarian” a chance this week, on “Picture Perfect” – music for the movies – this Friday evening at 6:00 ET, or enjoy it later as a webcast at http://www.wwfm.org.
By the way, is it pronounced “Co-NAN,” as it was in the 1982 version, or “CO-nin,” as it was in the 2011 remake? Interesting meditation here:
http://www.vulture.com/2011/08/conan_the_barbarian_has_change.html
I pronounce it “Co-NAN” in the promo, and “CO-nin” in the show.
