I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but if you didn’t put a shoe in your window last night, you are in for a world of irritation through Christmas. Oh, wait a minute, that’s probably the case anyway.
The Yule Lads are Iceland’s greatest metaphor for holiday annoyance and frustration. In their most anodyne form, the Lads leave gifts for children (in the shoe). But in their purest, most primordial sense, they are major pains in the ass. And their mother will kill you.
Today, the Lads are most frequently portrayed as a bevy of affable Santa Clauses, rewarding the good with welcome gifts and penalizing the naughty with rotten potatoes. But in days of yore, they were amoral pranksters and homicidal trolls who devoured children.
According to Icelandic lore, the Lads are thirteen in number. Mostly they harass and steal from Icelandic farmers. They descend from the mountains, staggering their arrivals and departures, beginning thirteen nights before Christmas. For those who can’t be bothered to do the math, that would be December 12.
Each has his own exasperating speciality, whether it be harassing sheep, stealing milk, eating crust out of pans, licking spoons, stealing leftovers, licking bowls, slamming doors, eating skyr (a kind of Icelandic yogurt), stealing sausages, peeping through windows, sniffing for bread, stealing meat with a hook, or eating candles.
For Tolkien fans, surely the Lads are the basis for the thirteen Dwarves [sic] who visit Bilbo Baggins, eating him out of house and home and imperiling his dishes.
Their mother is the ogress Grýla, who seeks children to boil in her cauldron. If you happen to find yourself in her gnarled claws, remember, she has to release you if you repent!
The Yule Lads are frequently accompanied by Jólakötturinn, the Yule Cat. The cat eats those who don’t receive new clothes before Christmas. This is tied in to the Icelandic work ethic. In the old days, if farm hands processed their autumn wool in a timely fashion, they were rewarded with new garments. If not, they received nothing, thereby leaving them vulnerable to the Yule Cat. Better sheer them sheep!
In 1746, the practice of parents tormenting their children with Christmas monster stories was officially banned.
Get festive in the way only Icelanders can, with these “Icelandic Folk Dances” by Jón Leifs.
Björk sings about the Yule Cat
Only 13 days of folklore and paganism until Christmas!
PHOTO: Jólakötturinn is watching
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