Tonight is Krampus Night. The night wicked children (I’m hoping of all ages) receive their comeuppance from St. Nicholas’ shadowy helper. If ever the wicked could use a good thrashing, it’s this year.
December 5 is the one day I get to wear this baby, unless I’m feeling unusually contrarian on Christmas. Peace on earth, but down below… well, you know.
“A Krampus Carol” (incorporating a stop motion Krampus!)
Family-friendly segment on the Krampus Renaissance in Bavaria, produced by The New York Times
A real, old-fashioned Krampuslauf
Pretty good Krampus carol (full text when you click on “show more”)
Here comes Krampus
Nicholas and Krampus play “good cop/bad cop” with Tobias
Small child cowers behind door at 1:25
Academy Award-winner Christoph Waltz explains Krampus to Jimmy Fallon
Stop me if you heard this before. After crisscrossing the same ground for the past nine years, especially around the holidays, I sometimes feel as if we’re an old married couple, patiently enduring the same stories. All the same, I can’t bypass St. Nicholas on his day. Also, I’ve been under the weather, and I’m up against a deadline, so I hope you’ll excuse the cut and paste.
Here we go, then…
St. Nicholas Day follows on the cloven hoof of Krampus Night.
In theory, the whole Nicholas-Krampus dynamic serves as a kind of “good cop/bad cop” scenario, with the naughty, threatened with the punishment of Krampus (the Christmas devil), driven to virtue, reinforced by the rewards of Nicholas (the patron saint of children).
But that’s a gross oversimplification, as it turns out Nicholas could be a pretty rough customer. He’d have to be, to be looking after not only children, but sailors, merchants, archers, prostitutes, women seeking husbands, repentant thieves, wrongly condemned criminals, travelers, pawnbrokers, and students. I’d be grouchy too.
Nicholas did not suffer fools lightly. His modesty could be so extreme as to sometimes verge on the sociopathic, and he could be downright cantankerous when thanked.
So what’s your favorite Nicholas story?
Is it when he tosses the bags of gold down a poor man’s chimney, surreptitiously providing a dowry for the man’s daughters and rescuing them from a life of prostitution, and then sharply rebuffs the man for his thanks?
Or is it when he chastises the sailors for their salty language, and when they mock him for his prudishness, prays for stormy seas until they drop to the deck in terror and repent?
Or is it when he reconstitutes and resurrects the three pickled boys, dismembered by a treacherous butcher to be passed off to his customers as ham?
Or is it when he sends Arius, father of Arianism, sprawling for his heresy that Jesus Christ is subordinate to the entity of God?
The Nicholas of history and legend was a far cry from your Coca-Cola Santa.
There’s no way I’m sitting on this guy’s lap. Happy St. Nicholas Day!
“Legends of St. Nicholas,” performed by Anonymous 4
“The Play of St. Nicholas,” 12th century (in four parts)
St. Nicholas Day follows on the cloven hoof of Krampus Night.
In theory, the whole Nicholas-Krampus dynamic serves as a kind of “good cop/bad cop” scenario, with the naughty, threatened with the punishment of Krampus (the Christmas devil), driven to virtue, reinforced by the rewards of Nicholas (the patron saint of children).
But that’s a gross oversimplification, as it turns out Nicholas could be a pretty rough customer. He’d have to be, to be looking after not only children, but sailors, merchants, archers, prostitutes, women seeking husbands, repentant thieves, wrongly condemned criminals, travelers, pawnbrokers, and students. I’d be grouchy too.
Nicholas did not suffer fools lightly. His modesty could be so extreme as to sometimes verge on the sociopathic, and he could be downright cantankerous when thanked.
So what’s your favorite Nicholas story?
Is it when he tosses the bags of gold down a poor man’s chimney, surreptitiously providing a dowry for the man’s daughters and rescuing them from a life of prostitution, and then sharply rebuffs the man for his thanks?
Or is it when he chastises the sailors for their salty language, and when they mock him for his prudishness, prays for stormy seas until they drop to the deck in terror and repent?
Or is it when he reconstitutes and resurrects the three pickled boys, dismembered by a treacherous butcher to be passed off to his customers as ham?
Or is it when he sends Arius, father of Arianism, sprawling for his heresy that Jesus Christ is subordinate to the entity of God?
The Nicholas of history and legend was a far cry from your Coca-Cola Santa.
There’s no way I’m sitting on this guy’s lap. Happy St. Nicholas Day!
“Legends of St. Nicholas,” performed by Anonymous 4
“The Play of St. Nicholas,” 12th century (in four parts)
What is going on with the holidays this year, and how is it already time to welcome Krampus? 20 days until Christmas, and I’m just not feeling it yet.
Since starting this page in 2014, I’ve broken quite a few lances against the Coca-Cola commercialism of American Christmas. One of the most devastating of my weapons has always been Krampus, the Christmas demon, who descends from his Alpine domain on December 5 to accompany St. Nicholas on his rounds. (Tomorrow is St. Nicholas Day.) Krampus, menacingly-horned and egregiously-tongued, is festooned with bells and bears a switch. And for the naughty children of Central Europe, he means business.
According to tradition, Nicholas rewards the good, while the naughty are turned over to Krampus. For mild offenses, there are lashings with the switch; for the irredeemable, there is an infernal ride in Krampus’ basket, followed by drowning in a stream or immolation in hellfire. This is a holiday I can get behind.
Alas, we are living in a world where we’ve become increasingly inured to such things. Krampus, formerly the province of subversive greeting cards, has been appropriated for mainstream movies and television, for crying out loud. When murderous Santa movies form their own subgenre, and the real world is more horrifying than any fairy story that can be cooked up for children, a visitation from a Christmas demon has come to seem… rather quaint.
And those who deserve the beatings never seem to get them. What’s going on with America’s classical music stations? One thousand years of Christmas music – motets, oratorios, operas, symphonies, symphonic poems, ballets, and incidental music – and all we ever get is the same old hourly brass arrangements of “Deck the Halls.” Krampus, work your magic!
Advent may have begun on December 3, but the season really picks up steam on December 5, the eve of St. Nicholas Day, otherwise known as Krampusnacht. Krampusnacht jumpstarts a shadow season of creepy Christmas traditions. Christmas isn’t just about buying things, you know; it’s about scaring the bejeezus out of your kids.
What exactly is Krampus? Why, he’s St. Nicholas’ dark helper. Horned, hairy and horrifyingly long-tongued, Krampus emerges from his Alpine domain to dole out corporal punishment to the young and the wicked. For milder offenses, there is the sting of the switch; but for the especially ill-behaved, there are chains, a short ride in a wicker basket, and then drowning in a stream or immolation by hellfire. When a naughty child hears the dull clatter of approaching cow-bells, he knows it’s all over. He only wishes his stocking were full of coal.
Happy holidays, everyone! Get ready for Black Pete, the Yule Lads, and the Gävle goat.
Krampus cards were once widely circulated, not only on Christmas, but also on Valentine’s Day. I can think of no better way to catch a sweetheart.
All hail Krampus!
“A Krampus Carol” (incorporating a stop motion Krampus!):
Family-friendly segment on the Krampus Renaissance in Bavaria, produced by The New York Times:
A real, old-fashioned Krampuslauf:
Pretty good Krampus carol (full text when you click on “show more”):
Here comes Krampus:
Nicholas and Krampus play “good cop/bad cop” with Tobias:
Small child cowers behind door at 1:25:
Academy Award-winner Christoph Waltz explains Krampus to Jimmy Fallon:
