I was at the Motor Vehicle Commission a few days ago, and this was my ticket. Of course, I thought immediately of Mozart’s K. 231. This canon in B-flat major was composed in Vienna in 1782. One of Mozart’s most scatological creations, it’s identified in the Köchel catalogue as “Leck mich im Arsch” (literally, “Lick Me in the ***”). Here’s the jolly text:

Lick my *** nicely,
lick it nice and clean,
nice and clean, lick my ***.
That’s a greasy desire,
nicely buttered,
like the licking of roast meat, my daily activity.
Three will lick more than two,
come on, just try it,
and lick, lick, lick.
Everybody lick their *** for themselves.

I didn’t sing it at the MVC, but it was definitely running through my head.

Happy birthday, Mozart.