He was one of the few composers to excel in every category: symphony, concerto, chamber, choral, instrumental, opera and song. In less than 35 years, he created over 600 works, starting around the age of five. The masterpiece quotient is high. Even so, he seldom had two thalers to rub together. Such are the priorities of this world.

Happy birthday, Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Mozart. We know him better as Wolfgang Amadeus.

Haydn wrote that “posterity will not see such a talent again in 100 years.”

Of course, he had his earthy side too. Here’s some of that Mozart they don’t teach you at school.

Lick my *** nicely,
lick it nice and clean,
nice and clean, lick my ***.
That’s a greasy desire,
nicely buttered,
like the licking of roast meat, my daily activity.
Three will lick more than two,
come on, just try it,
and lick, lick, lick.
Everybody lick their *** for themselves.

Want to plumb deeper? Sound off on your favorite Mozart pieces below.