“Crom… I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. Valor pleases you, Crom, so grant me one request: grant me an hour of barbarian music!”

Ten days ago, I received notice that, after a 13-year run, “Picture Perfect” will be “sunsetting” on WWFM. Not much notice, and tonight’s show was already scheduled. But I must say, if the series has to end, it may as well go out in a blaze of glory.

There are those, I’m sure, who would deny themselves the guilty pleasures of viewing these silly, cheesy, violent films, all of which were inspired by the writings of pulp master Robert E. Howard. Howard created the warrior Conan in 1932. The character became the center of a series of lucrative stories first published in “Weird Tales” magazine.

It would be a half century before Conan made the leap to the big screen, under the direction of John Milius. “Conan the Barbarian” (1982) propelled Arnold Schwarzenegger, already a legend in the field of bodybuilding, to international superstardom. While “Conan” isn’t exactly “Citizen Kane,” it does have its pleasures. The intensity of the violence can be a little disturbing, but the ponderous tone is a blast. “Conan” is a film that takes itself just seriously enough to make it occasionally hilarious.

Another thing “Conan” has going for it is the fact that it was made on a blockbuster budget. The first-rate production values extend to the music by Basil Poledouris, who employs a full symphony orchestra to impressive ends. In fact, the “Conan” score was one of the strongest of the decade. It’s amazing that anyone would find so much inspiration in such a mediocre film, but Poledouris’ music intersperses Borodin-style Central Asia lyricism with brawny, thrilling action music.

Sadly, the sequel, “Conan the Destroyer,” betrays signs of penny-pinching, so that it often winds up feeling like a direct-to-video effort. Poledouris was forced to make do with a smaller orchestra, which sounds a bit too much like a television ensemble. Still, he gave it his all, and there’s something to be said for the fact that it is an original score, rather than a mere retread of the original.

Another one of Howard’s creations, Kull of Atlantis, was given the big screen treatment as “Kull the Conqueror” (1997). Kevin Sorbo, TV’s Hercules, plays the title role. The composer, Joel Goldsmith (son of Jerry Goldsmith), was asked to incorporate heavy metal riffs into his orchestral underscore. I haven’t actually seen this one, but for some reason I don’t feel like I’m missing anything.

The astoundingly prolific Ennio Morricone – with more than 500 motion picture and television scores to his name – had an uncanny knack for spinning garbage into gold. His music for “Red Sonja” (1985) lends the film an aura of ‘80s cheese ball fun, perhaps more so than it deserves. This is the film that introduced Brigitte Nielsen as the chain-mailed barbarian beauty. Schwarzenegger appears in the supporting role of Lord Kalidor.

“Make the music loud, Crom! Drive my enemies before me and drown the lamentations of their women.”

“Picture Perfect” gallops off into the sunset with movies inspired by the writings of Robert E. Howard, this Saturday evening at 6:00 EDT, on WWFM – The Classical Network and wwfm.org.

PHOTO: Classic Ross Amico, after 28 minutes of music from “Conan the Barbarian”