The most enduring holiday specials all teach kids important lessons. For instance, in the case of the “Star Wars Holiday Special,” kids were taught the important lessons that dirty old men need their alone time with Diahann Carroll, that Harvey Korman saved his best material for Carol Burnett and Mel Brooks, that on Kashyyyk a little Art Carney goes a long way, that Jefferson Starship has nothing to do with space, that Bea Arthur singing pseudo-Kurt Weill in a cantina on Tatooine is a far less interesting concept than turning Red Foxx loose on a Jawa sandcrawler, that tedium is a fact of life (but that doesn’t mean one should seek it out), and that even a television special spun off of the highest-grossing film of all time can fail horribly. At everything.
Join Roy Bjellquist and me, as we find ourselves at that strange crossroads in the Twilight Zone where, on November 17, 1978, “Star Wars” collided with the variety show format. Han Solo and Chewbacca attempt to circumvent an Imperial blockade in order to get to the planet of the Wookiees in time to celebrate Life Day. Then all the Wookiees put on red robes (because there wasn’t enough money in the budget for full-body fur) and Princess Leia sings an uplifting Life Day song. Halfway into the two-hour slog, the whole thing gets interesting for about ten minutes as a Moebius-inspired animated interlude introduces the world to Boba Fett. Then it’s back to the black hole.
Our discussion, no doubt, will take on the character of good cop, bad cop. Roy is such a nice guy, there’s bound to be a nostalgic glow about his observations. I, on the other hand, have got my quill warmed up in Satan’s inkwell. There will be no prisoners taken on the next Roy’s Tie-Dye Sci-Fi Corner. Spew your misery in the comments section and reclaim your childhood, as we live-stream on Facebook, this Friday evening at 7:00 EST!
https://www.facebook.com/roystiedyescificorner/
Here’s a link to the actual holiday special, never re-aired, never released on home video in any format. You have been warned.
May remorse be with you!
