Get ready, kids! It’s December 5. Krampusnacht. Have you been good this year?
The eve of St. Nicholas Day kicks off a season of creepy Christmas traditions. Long-time followers of this page know I have a weakness for the whacked-out pagan lore that still surges beneath the anodyne veneer of the holidays. Christmas isn’t just about buying things. It’s about scaring the bejeezus out of your kids.
What exactly is Krampus? He’s St. Nicholas’ dark helper. Horned, hairy and horrendously long-tongued, Krampus emerges from his Alpine domain to dole out corporal punishment to the young and the wicked. For milder offenses, there is the sting of the switch; but for the especially ill-behaved, there are chains, a short ride in a wicker basket, and then drowning in a stream or immolation by hellfire. When a naughty child hears the dull clatter of approaching cow-bells, he knows it’s all over. He only wishes his stocking were full of coal.
Last year, Krampus became the subject of a major motion picture. It’s ironic that this ultimate expression of anti-commercialism would himself become commercialized. Then again, Krampus cards were once widely circulated, not only on Christmas, but also on Valentine’s Day. I can think of no better way to catch a sweetheart.
Happy holidays, everyone! Get ready for Black Pete, the Yule Lads, and the Gävle goat. Wait a minute. Better strike that last one. This year’s Gävle goat, apparently, didn’t even last 24 hours. You can read the full, moving account here:
“A Krampus Carol” (incorporating a stop motion Krampus!):
Family-friendly segment on the Krampus Renaissance in Bavaria, produced by The New York Times:
A real, old-fashioned Krampuslauf:
Pretty good Krampus carol (full text when you click on “show more”):
Here comes Krampus:
Nicholas and Krampus play “good cop/bad cop” with Tobias:
Small child cowers behind door at 1:25:
Academy Award-winner Christoph Waltz explains Krampus to Jimmy Fallon:
The commercialization of Krampus:
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